Neon McDonald's

A Parody of "Hotel California" by the Eagles

New words ©1999 Michael Jay Miller, all rights reserved

On the city's Second Street
max AC on my hair.
The sound of Wierd Al,
rising up through the air.
Up ahead in the distance,
I saw the Golden Arches.
I was job hunting and
it looked OK,
I had to stop and apply.

A Manager at the counter;
I heard something bell.
And I was thinking to myself:
this could be Heaven
or this could be Hell.

I got an application,
and asked about the pay.
I heard something come from the Grill;
I thought I heard them say:

Welcome to the Neon McDonald's.
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
workin' Face-to-Face.

Plenty of Macs at the Neon McDonald's.
Any time of the year, (any time of the year)
you can buy food here.
There are Burgers on the Grill,
There's some Filet in the Vat.
I got a Red and Grey striped uniform,
and must wear the hat.
How they eat in the Dining Room;
A huge mess.
Some days no people;
some days you can guess.

So I called up the Manager:
"Please bring me my pay." (she said)
"You don't get any money here
until a week from Friday."
And still those voices calling from
far away;
keep awake in the middle of your break
just to hear them say:

Welcome to the Neon McDonald's.
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Workin' Face-to-Face.

We makin' food at the Neon McDonald's.
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Would you like some fries?
Mirrors to be cleaned
the cold Root Beer on ice (and she said)
"We are all just prisoners here
of our own devices."
And in the crew's chamber
they came for the meeting.
Some people skipped,
but we don't care,
'cause it has no meaning.

Last thing I remember,
I was running for the door.
I just had to find the way back to
the place I was before.
"Relax," said the Manager.
"We are programmed to receive.
you can punch out any time you like,
but you can never leave."

Hotel California © 1976 by the Eagles

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